My apologies, ladies, for my delay in participating. When describing my life as it is right now to a dear friend and mentor, he says that clearly I am in the "cauldron" right now. My life as I knew it just a mere year ago is barely visible. So, then, what to do with that? Dive in deeper into the cauldron. That's what. Find out what is hiding deep deep within. Is there somebody creative down there? Or am I just a shadow artist? An appreciator of art.
I chose to do the Artist's Way project for this group. Then, I got overwhelmed and quit. Well, kind-of quit. I kept doing my morning pages, most of the time. But I hadn't figured out how to do the rest of the projects and assignments. As I mentioned, part of the challenge is rearranging my life. How will it look? What will stay the same? What needs to change? Am I really creative or is it a bunch of bullshit? Is this the right project, cuz why would I be "afraid" of the Artist's Way? Certainly, it's a challenge, but, afraid? Well, I have come to the conclusion that yes, I am afraid of the Artist's Way and I am afraid of posting about my journey through the Artist's Way.
Week 1 of the Artist's Way has the reader identify "your enemy within: core negative beliefs". Here are mine:
I can't be a successful, prolific, creative artist because:
1. I'm too old,
2. I'm not smart enough,
3. my productions will be TOO cheesy,
4. I don't have enough time or energy to FOCUS!,
5. artist's are born, not made.
I chose eight affirmations to counter these curmudgeons! They are:
1. My creativity heals myself and others;
2. I am allowed to nurture my artist;
3. Through the use of a few simple tools, my creativity will flourish;
4. My creativity leads me to forgiveness and self-forgiveness;
5. As I listen to the creator within, I am led.
6. My creativity always leads me to truth and love;
7. I am willing to learn to let myself create;
8. I am willing to experience my creative energy.
In addition, I have latched on to a poem by Hafiz called "To Build a Swing". It reminds me of this group and gives me strength. It is here:
You carry
All the ingredients
to turn your life into a nightmare-
don't mix them!!
You have all the genius
To build a swing in your backyard
For god.
That sounds
Like a hell of a lot more fun.
Let's start laughing, drawing blueprints,
Gathering our talented friends.
I will help you
with my divine lyre and drum.
Hafiz
will sing a thousand words
You can take into your hands,
Like golden saws,
Silver hammers.
Polished teak wood,
Strong silk rope.
You can carry all the ingredients,
To turn your existence into joy.
Mix them, mix them!!!
So, in the end....I'm starting the Artist's Way over. My brother is doing it with me this time and we will do it in the 12 weeks that it suggests. (I was thinking of doing it in 24) He has been an amazing support so far and I can't wait to go on this journey with him and the ladies of COFFEE!!
